Gen Z in the workplace communication or What Gen Z Is Bringing — and Holding Back

From Safe to Safe-Unsafe: Rethinking Dialogue at Work

“It got us thinking…”

Earlier this week, Belgian KU Leuven professor Verbeke shared a concern that struck a chord: at our universities — and especially among younger people — fewer and fewer feel safe to speak their minds. Even in spaces built for dialogue, opinions are increasingly kept quiet.

It got us thinking about a similar pattern we often see in companies — not just how silence affects team dynamics, which we’ve explored in previous pieces, but something more internal: the personal toll that unspoken thoughts and unresolved tensions can take on the individual.

Because when something stays unspoken — a disagreement, a frustration, a sense of unfairness — it doesn’t just disappear. It simmers. It shapes how we see others, how we interpret their actions, how we feel about coming into work.

And here’s the reality: when you carry a negative image of someone else, that burden doesn’t stay “out there” with the other person. It weighs on you. And even if it seems small — a bit of quiet resentment, a repeated frustration, a perception you haven’t voiced — over time, it becomes heavier.

That’s not just a feeling. It’s physiology.

The American Psychological Association has long linked emotional suppression to chronic stress — a state that drains energy, disrupts sleep, and increases the risk of illness.

Bessel van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, shows how unresolved emotional tension gets stored in the body. It doesn’t just pass through us — it sits in our shoulders, our jaw, our gut. It narrows our tolerance and shortens our breath.

Dan Siegel, a leading voice in interpersonal neurobiology, explains that even subtle relational tension can shift the brain’s baseline. We become more defensive, less curious, more reactive — not just in one meeting, but in how we show up at work and at home.

It adds up.

A clenched stomach every time you see a colleague.

An emotional withdrawal that leaves you drained by 3 PM.

A night of poor sleep after a meeting where you didn’t speak your truth.

All of it, quietly taking a toll.

So let’s pause with a question:

Is there someone at work you’re carrying a story about — a judgement, a frustration, a tension — that you haven’t voiced or resolved?

How does that feel, in your body, in your energy, in the way you enter a room?

Even a small emotional load, if carried long enough, will impact not only how we think and connect — but our health, our engagement, and ultimately our sense of self.

Why do we stay quiet?

Sometimes it’s not the loudest voice in the room that silences us — it’s the quiet pull of the group.

You feel it when someone shares an idea that doesn’t land, and the conversation just moves on.

You feel it when everyone seems to be nodding, and you’re not sure if it’s agreement or just habit.

Over time, people stop raising their hand.

They start editing their thoughts before speaking.

Not because they’re not thinking. But because they’re not sure their thinking fits.

We’ve seen this play out in leadership teams, project groups, and fast-growing start-ups: a sense that there’s one way to think, one way to lead, one tone to strike.

Sometimes it’s modelled by the founder. Sometimes it just slowly settles in.

But eventually, everyone begins to shape their words around what they think others want to hear.

And slowly, without anyone deciding it, the group starts to shrink — not in number, but in voice.

It’s not that people don’t care. It’s that they care so much about belonging that they stop bringing the part of themselves that might make waves.

This isn’t a problem of individual courage. It’s a signal that the space isn’t safe enough to stretch into.

And when people stop stretching, they stop creating, questioning, challenging — growing.

So maybe the better question is:

What signals are we sending — and what spaces are we shaping — that make it easier to conform than to contribute?

From Safe to Safe-Unsafe: Creating Space for Real Dialogue

The people we work with know that when we step into a room, we bring a safe space with us.

As external facilitators, we’re not part of internal politics. We don’t come in with an agenda or hierarchy. That gives people permission to breathe — to speak more openly, to reflect, to take off the armour. Often, it’s the first time in a while they’ve felt that they can fully show up.

But as the KU Leuven professor highlights, the real challenge comes next.

Because safety isn’t the destination. It’s the beginning.

Once people feel grounded, we help them take the next step — into what we call the safe-unsafe space.

That’s where honesty lives. Where disagreement isn’t deflected, but explored. Where discomfort doesn’t mean danger — it means growth.

In these moments, many organisations turn to well-known models like Crucial Conversations, Radical Candor, or frameworks from Nonviolent Communication.

These tools offer powerful ways to navigate conflict and improve dialogue. We value them — and often, we work in organisations that already use them.

...But the lens we bring is slightly different. It’s less about techniques and more about principles — timeless ways of relating that speak to the core of how humans connect, disagree, and grow together.

That difference is intentional.

We choose to come from another angle not because we reject what teams already know — but because we want to mark the shift. To let people feel they’re in a different kind of space. Not business as usual. Not performance. Something more open, more grounded.

In psychology — particularly in Gestalt theory — there’s the idea of the “interrupt” or discontinuity: a break in our familiar pattern that creates a window for awareness and change. We step out of automatic responses, and suddenly we see more clearly how we’ve been operating.

This doesn’t always require dramatic change.

In fact, research in organisational behaviour and environmental psychology shows that even symbolic or subtle changes — new language, different facilitation, an unfamiliar format — can shift the mental frame.

People relax their defences. They speak more openly. They reflect more deeply. Simply not being in the usual meeting mode is often enough to make people pause and bring something more authentic.

That’s part of why we introduce guiding principles that may feel unexpected in a business context.

From Socrates, we bring the Triple Filter Test:

Is it true?

Is it kind or good?

Is it useful or necessary?

Not as constraints, but as invitations — to speak with care, not just courage.

And from the Toltecs, we bring four foundational agreements:

Be impeccable with your word.

Don’t take things personally.

Don’t make assumptions.

Always do your best.

These aren’t frameworks to learn. They’re mindsets to inhabit. They create a different kind of listening, a different kind of speaking, a different kind of space.

Because when we change the environment — even just symbolically — we change what becomes possible inside it.

From External to Internally Held Space: What You Can Start Doing Right Now

The spaces we help create are intentionally different.

They are held, facilitated, designed to interrupt the usual rhythms.

But of course — we’re not in the room every day. And if we were, we’d become part of the internal structure. The whole point would be lost.

So the question becomes:

How do you, as a manager or team member, create that same kind of openness from within?

Let’s call this the shift from external to internally held space — from a moment facilitated by someone else, to a culture gently held by the people in it.

You don’t need to become a facilitator. You just need to become intentional.

Intentional about how conversations begin.

How people contribute.

How difference is welcomed — or accidentally pushed aside.

This is where two brilliant minds help us deepen our approach:

In Rebel Ideas, Matthew Syed reminds us that breakthrough thinking doesn’t come from alignment — it comes from diversity.

Not just demographic diversity, but cognitive diversity: the inclusion of people who think, frame, and process differently.

But here’s the challenge: those voices are often the first to go quiet.

Especially in meetings.

Especially when a dominant voice or style is setting the tone.

In How Minds Change, David McRaney explores something equally important — the subtle role of peer dynamics.

People don’t change their views because of data. They shift when they feel safe, when they’re heard, and when they see others — especially peers — open up to new perspectives.

So if you want your team to grow and think more broadly, the job isn’t to push them. It’s to create a space where different thoughts are expected — and protected.

So where do you begin?

Here are a few things you can already start doing — simple shifts that change the tone of a room:

1. Do a pre-meeting energy check

   
   

   Before you even walk into the room, take a moment to scan your energy in relation to each person who’ll be there.

   Ask yourself: When I think of this person, does my energy lift or drop? Do I feel neutral, tense, warm, closed off?

   
   

   This isn’t about judgement — it’s about awareness.

   Because how you relate to someone internally will always shape how you respond to them externally.

   
   

   If you’re holding tension toward someone, it will influence your tone, your openness, and even how you interpret what they say.

   
   

   Start by noticing. Then bring that awareness in with you, gently.

   You’ll be surprised how often this alone changes the way you listen and show up.

   
   

2. Begin with a silent start

   
   

   Start your next meeting with three to five minutes of total silence.

   Phones away. No talking. Just stillness.

   
   

   People can use that time however they like: to breathe, to write down intentions, to reflect on what they’re bringing into the room.

   
   

   This may feel unusual — and that’s the point.

   It shifts the energy. It marks the space as different.

   And in that quiet, people often arrive more fully than they would with a rushed check-in or immediate agenda dive.

   
   

3. Break the echo loop

   
   

   Before opening up a discussion, ask each participant to write down their thoughts or ideas on the topic in silence — before anyone speaks.

   
   

   Then, have people read them out loud one by one.

   This prevents early contributions from shaping the whole conversation, and makes space for quieter voices or more unusual angles to be heard in full.

   
   

   It’s a subtle but powerful way to protect diversity of thought.

   
   

4. Create a visible assumptions list

   
   

   In strategic or problem-solving discussions, ask the group: “What assumptions are we making right now?”

   Capture them in real time — on a whiteboard, a shared doc, a sticky wall.

   
   

   Doing this takes the heat out of disagreement. It moves the focus from “who’s right” to “what are we building this on?”

   
   

   It creates a shared surface where differing perspectives can meet, without defensiveness.

   
   

5. Switch sides: the perspective flip

   
   

   When two views are in tension, invite each person or group to argue the other’s side. Not to win, but to understand.

   
   

   This method — drawn from classic university debating — fosters empathy, reveals nuance, and often leads to unexpected alignment.

   
   

   You may find that by trying to articulate the opposing view, people discover it’s not so opposed after all.

   Or that their own view deepens.

   Either way, the conversation matures.

   
   

6. Anchor the space with guiding principles

   
   

   Whether you use Socratic filters, Toltec agreements, or values your team creates together — make them visible.

   
   

   Put them on the wall.

   Reference them in moments of tension.

   They’re not rules to enforce.

   
   

   They’re reminders of what kind of space you want to hold — and what kind of presence each person is invited to bring.

   
   

These shifts don’t require budget, or training, or a special tool.

They require attention.

And the willingness to treat meetings not just as things to get through — but as spaces where something meaningful might unfold.

A final reflection: the silence we’ve learned — and what comes next

When many of today’s leaders went through university, debate was a given.

We were taught to challenge, to speak our mind, to argue both sides of an issue. That was part of the education — and for many of us, part of how we found our voice.

And yet, despite that training, how many of us now look around our own boardrooms and see selective disclosure?

How many times do people leave things unsaid?How often do we, ourselves, choose the safer version of what we think?

If even we, who were taught to speak up, are learning to hold back — what does that mean for the next generation?

Because as the KU Leuven professor observed, the university experience is shifting.

Today’s students are often learning something very different:

That speaking out carries risk.

That it’s safer — socially, professionally — to stay silent.

To conform.

To adapt quietly.

And those students?

They’re not children.

They’re entering your company next year.

They’ll be in your meetings. On your project teams. Facing your clients.

They care — deeply — about values, fairness, and belonging.

But if they haven’t had the space to practise disagreement, to challenge without fear, they may not say anything at all.

They might disengage.

Or leave.

Or stay, but never truly contribute the perspective that could have made the difference.

So if silence is already creeping in — among people trained to speak —What will happen when your culture meets a generation trained to stay quiet?

That’s the urgency.

Creating a culture where people can think differently, speak honestly, and disagree constructively isn’t a future-facing luxury.

It’s a present-day necessity.

Because in a fast-changing world, your organisation doesn’t just need talent.

It needs people who feel safe enough to bring their full intelligence, insight, and challenge to the table —and a culture ready to listen when they do.